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March, 1997 "Fathers
Make Known To Children Your Faithfulness..." My intention is to maintain a focus on certain aspects of the complex of problems which constitute our current crisis. In fact, only if women welcome men in the roles of husband and father, cooperate with them and expect great things of them, can men hope to undertake such awesome responsibilities. In a real sense, the same is true for women in their roles as wife and mother. The Church does not have all the answers to the present crisis of fatherhood. The problems elude easy answers and touch on the mystery of human persons and their many relationships, especially their relationship with God. Nevertheless, we should never lose confidence in God, our loving Father; He will not leave us orphans. He gives us the gift of His Son - and His Bride, the Church - to fill us with the power of the truth and the comfort of His grace. This grace continually strengthens us to assume our dignity as children of God and to live in accord with that dignity. I.
THE PROBLEM Freedom
for What? Many today confuse "feeling" or sentiment with conviction about truth. Emotions do play an important role in our lives. Yet the emotional life is not always a sure guide to the needs of the human person. Preoccupation with feelings can become sentimentality, leading us to a greater selfishness and an inability to recognize the true needs of those around us. It can also draw us into evil that "feels good" to us or to others. Unfortunately, our present culture is greatly preoccupied with the quest for "feeling good," often at the expense of what is truly good for the self, for others and for the common good. Have we found happiness? Our preoccupation with the self has not, however, made us experts in how to be happy. We meet more people who question the value of their lives. Many people, both young and old, simply despair. Our young commit suicide at rates that would have shocked us a generation ago. No one can ignore today's urgent thirst for happiness and joy - and the fact that so few seem to find either. Perhaps this uncertainty about the value of their own lives drives people to question the dignity of human life in general. John Paul II has reminded us that the only appropriate response to another person is self-giving love. A culture preoccupied with the self blinds us to the value of other human beings. The Holy Father warns us against the culture of "use," in which other persons are seen only as instruments to further our fulfillment, rather than as subjects to be loved. Today, the most troubling sign of our culture's inner confusion is the fear of new life, the war we make on unborn children in the womb. When we no longer see other people as a gift to the world, we begin to fear them as burdens or obstacles. And the logic of abortion, euthanasia and assisted suicide eventually follows. As violence grows in our society, sadly some may introduce it into their homes and the precious relationships there. Not only physical harm results, but also emotional and spiritual scars which their spouses and children carry far into the future. II.
THE FAMILY: FOUNDATION OF HUMAN LOVE AND SOCIETY But nostalgia will not lead us where we need to go. We must find the courage to defend this "first and vital cell of society."2 Perhaps at no other time in our history have we faced such a threat to society as the contemporary breakdown of the family.3 Other times and other cultures have had their difficulties, but such a systemic uncertainty about the role of the family, and even an unwillingness to preserve it, has no precedent. The family is most fruitful when it places itself at the service of life, and the key to understanding the importance of the family is recognizing the dignity of human life. The present crisis of family life has too often been met with investigations which ignore ways of helping the family be what it is effectively. Instead, we have been deluged with attempts to resolve the problem of the family by redefining it. This only further confuses our understanding of the family's dignity, purpose and meaning. The family comes from God, and its power and consolation can only be realized in fidelity to the Creator's plan. We cannot congratulate ourselves for having engaged the problems families suffer today until we proclaim God's plan for the family and encourage each other to live it. As Pope John Paul has exhorted us, "...family, become what you are."4 Over the last generation we have watched the course of the sexual revolution, which at the start seemed to promise an era of intimacy without complications. Both sexes have been very much involved in this revolution. But, in particular it has exacerbated male sexual weakness. As we know now from hard experience, the sexual revolution brought with it enormous harm not only to family life but also to the dignity of human life itself. The rise of sexual license became possible, in part, because of the widespread acceptance of a contraceptive worldview that, more than ever, invigorated a culture of utility; the use of women and men as objects of sexual pleasure, the use of children as objects of personal fulfillment to be enjoyed or avoided. The contraceptive society provides neither men nor women with the incentive to take personal responsibility or to mature in the life-giving commitment of faithful marriage. Rather, it encourages a chronic adolescence which balks at commitment, in which God's greatest gift to families - children - are seen as mere objects at the service of their parents' convenience.5 Further, it scorns the genuine and respectful love that would welcome children with genetic defects or other problems. Whatever the motives for practicing contraception, its use has clearly impaired the permanence of marriage. Recent studies corroborate the Christian vision of sexuality that the Church has always believed. Some studies suggest that the rise of contraception accounts for a doubling in divorce rates from 1965-1975. Other investigations suggest that the presence of more than one child can be crucial to the survival of marriages. And surely links exist between the rejection of children which lies at the heart of contraceptive use, and the growing acceptance of abortion. When the needs of children are no longer a priority for both parents, marital permanence is also undermined. Children experience a profound personal insecurity. Yet parents' fidelity to their vows, even in the midst of difficulty, is often denigrated by contemporary culture, and the separation of parents, after common experiences of marital difficulty, is sometimes defended - oddly - as what is actually best for the children. Our Holy Father has spoken sorrowfully of these children as "orphans of living parents."6 Superficial
Notions of Love The
Absence of Fathers We should, of course, not overlook the many positive developments in our culture with regard to the responsibilities of men. Men today have a greater awareness of the unique gifts of women, acknowledging that our culture has not always treated women justly. John Paul II points out that the domination of women by men is an offense against the dignity of both.8 Many men, resisting cultural pressures, have given excellent examples of devotion to their families and to the good of society. More men recognize these problems and are willing to accept their own responsibility for them. Across the nation various groups of men, often in the context of shared faith, are banding together to make a difference for themselves, their families, and society. The
Mystery of Sexual Difference I am concerned that, as a culture, we are politicizing a reality that is both splendid and complex. We no longer understand that the differences between man and woman are something positive and to be celebrated. Sexual identity cannot simply be relegated to the demands of political ideology. Sexual differences are real; and they are more than simply physical or simply spiritual. They are grounded in the origins of the human person, for "male and female He made them."9 The family, Church and society function best when the roles of both men and women are celebrated. Yet I believe we have often failed to call men to full responsibility in them. This failure has contributed to the stereotype that women alone can appreciate the dignity of human life and the worship of God. Men can be tempted to think that they are somehow excused from their responsibilities as disciples in service to the family and the rest of the Church. Perhaps the coolness many contemporary men show toward their religious responsibilities is a key to understanding their failure to live virtuous lives as required by the demands of discipleship and fatherhood. Men need to be evangelized to assume their dignity as sons of God, brothers of Christ, faithful spouses of their wives, and committed fathers of their children. Without this dignity, men become sterile, unwilling, or even unable to assume the dignities of spiritual fatherhood at the service of the human community.10 In many ways, regardless of the different explanations, many men seem to have lost their ideals and their nerve. Surely men have many fears to face. We fear to give our word or pledge ourselves or to make and keep commitments. We fear love and the sacrifices it entails. And we also fear to believe strongly and proclaim clearly our faith in Christ and His Church. Sadly, even among some priests and religious of the Church, we have witnessed the unwillingness of men to keep their solemn promise to God and His believing community. These are not easy times for anyone, but they are especially uneasy times for men; it is almost as if few expect the men of our culture to assume leadership in virtue. We must be reminded of the encouragement of Christ who told us, "Be not afraid."11 III.
THE SPIRITUAL LANDSCAPE Every believer is called to be attentive to the revelation of God and to respond to it with loving obedience. In service to God, self, and others, the man of faith seeks to become a living sign of God's kingdom and the new life of grace that Christ gives us in baptism. An authentic response to God is profoundly personal, but serves the Church and all of her members. From the beginning the Father revealed Himself to the human family so as to share His life with us, so that we may rejoice in Him. Our first response to God must be the self-surrender of faith, where in joyful humility we acknowledge that He is our creator who teaches us so that we may be blessed. Therein lies our true fulfillment. God's
Love and His Life Jesus
Christ: God and Man The entrance of Jesus Christ to the human scene draws upon the Old Testament image of God as a faithful, forgiving bridegroom and makes it concrete. God the Son is a bridegroom who has come to arrange and complete His nuptials with His Bride, the Church. All the baptized are conformed to Christ by grace. All disciples are to imitate his human virtues and share in His relationship with the Father. Women will imitate His virtues and way of life, especially as they are reflected in the Blessed Virgin Mary and other magnificent women in Church history. Men themselves are called to imitate Him precisely as man. All Christian men are called to imitate Christ: His virtues, His teaching, His sacrifice. Their manhood, rather than excusing them from the demands of a Christ-like life, obliges them to imitate Him with the help of grace. The holy men of our Christian history have also been great examples of manhood. Our faith highlights three realities that are important for a man's identity. We find in Jesus Christ the perfect Son, who is obedient to His heavenly Father, whom all are called to imitate. The same Son is also seen as the Bridegroom of the Church, highlighting dramatically the responsibilities of men in spousal love. Jesus also reveals the Father to us; because the Son manifests the love of the perfect Father, all earthly fathers can learn something of their own responsibilities to their children. Christ gives us the opportunity to become fruitful in a new and splendid way. The maturing son becomes a spouse, but the maturing son also becomes a father. Men can be fathers not only in the flesh but also in the Spirit. Christ,
the Way Christ teaches us many virtues by His own example. Even those who are familiar with the Gospels, but who are not believers, can be amazed by the way in which He lived and died. He expressed a love for God and neighbor which knew no limit. His zeal for His Father's honor provokes Him to cleanse the Temple. He was obedient not only to His heavenly Father, but also to Mary and Joseph. His love for others made Him preach, teach, and exhort others to conversion. He is innocent, even according to Judas, and Pontius Pilate finds in Him no crime. He was compassionate to the poor, sick and suffering, and merciful to sinners. Throughout His life He was quietly steadfast. Christ thus teaches us how to be men, good sons of the heavenly Father. A man has only to look upon Christ to see himself as God intends. Man must not be ashamed of being a son of the heavenly Father, ashamed of Christ, or ashamed of being a man. He must look upon the son ship of Jesus Christ, meditate upon it and respond with the help of God's grace. As Christ is humble, a man must be humble before God. As Christ prays a man must pray. As Christ was obedient a man must be obedient. As Christ proclaims the truth of God's fidelity, so a man who imitates and is unified with Christ can be faithful to his own service to mankind in fatherhood. In fact, through the mystery of grace, we not only imitate Christ, but we are also identified with Him and we share in His very relationship with the Father and the Holy Spirit.17 The Gospels teach us that Christ was a prayerful man, often separating Himself from others to pray to His heavenly Father in secret. His prayer was an expression of a son's love for His Father as well as an expression of the worship that man owes to God in justice. In particular, we see Jesus pray when He prepared for events central to His mission: before the beginning of His public ministry, before the selection of the Apostles, and before His crucifixion. He also turned to prayer in times of weariness, such as after His preaching to the crowds and healing ministry; and He prayed in the Garden and on the Cross, and died with a prayer still on His lips. Christ
the New Adam Consider Christ on the cross, and Mary and John at its foot. How different Christ is from Adam! He was not silent. He spent His whole ministry teaching and witnessing to the Father. Although tempted, He would not participate in sin. And in the midst of sin, He did not withdraw, but He gave Himself in sacrifice, utterly dependent upon the heavenly Father. In His death on the Cross He revealed and proclaimed the trust in God that all are called to imitate. The
Spiritual Life We are united to God and others through love, and so a confusion of love with emotion or sentiment will hinder our practice of the spiritual life. The emotional life of a man is indeed important. But we must remember that the man in touch with his emotions is not necessarily a virtuous man. A man's responsibilities are great; yet he can be vulnerable to sentiments that obscure the importance of those responsibilities. The ability to live a strong emotional life is based on the ability to transcend emotion appropriately. The practice of the spiritual life can reclaim and order our emotions. A man can only become strong for others by humbly acknowledging his weakness in the presence of his Father. This is why he should go into his room, shut the door and pray to the heavenly Father; he should pray that the Father will grant him the strength he needs to fulfill the responsibilities with which God has charged him. A Christian man must respond to the vocation to holiness secure in his value as a man. He must not become discouraged by his own sinfulness nor by the prevailing sentiment that sometimes mocks male religious practice. Not all of a man's spiritual qualities have been corrupted by sin. Both men and women have insight and gifts to offer in the spiritual life. Catholic men can learn much from women and need not deny their masculine identity to grow to maturity. Quite the opposite: A man can achieve great progress in the spiritual life if he is challenged to it. If he focuses on holiness, he is simultaneously perfected as a man and he progresses in holiness precisely in fidelity to his duty to God, his family and the human community. A man's growth in faith is manifested by his trust in providence and triumph over fear. Fear demeans us. So much of our lives can be governed by a fear that paralyzes: fear of God, fear of intimacy with women, fear of commitment, and commonly, fear of children and raising a family. Only by exercising trust in Providence can a man overcome this fear and confidently assume responsibility for himself and others. This is the mystery of Christ's Cross: once you freely accept and embrace suffering, you have nothing further to fear. A man's spiritual growth gives him the dignity of self-mastery and the humility to accept responsibility for his own life, his progress in virtue and his sinfulness. This maturity also leads him to the fruitfulness of fatherhood. Christ
Reveals the Father The image of God reflected in man and woman is seen in one of the first commands after creation. "Be fruitful and multiply."20 We can easily fear the responsibilities of becoming fathers and living the commitment well. Yet, God made us to share the great dignity of cooperating with Him in the creation, protection and education of new human life. In a certain sense, we can say that each man has been given a vocation to fatherhood as an expression of his manhood. A man must not shy away from this great gift; he should rejoice in its dignity. Fearfully or selfishly to postpone or contain the fruitfulness that God offers us rejects the certain aid that God will provide us if we are generous with Him. God can never be outdone in generosity; a man grows in stature as he confidently assumes commitment to a wife and the raising of a family - or consecrates himself to a celibacy fruitful in the Spirit. In this regard, it would be a mistake to presume that the command of fruitfulness relates only to the physical origin of life. In Christ, all Christians possess a seed of spiritual fruitfulness that has significance in Christ's Kingdom.21 Our Christian dignity allows us to join in the universal priesthood of the Church in which we can offer ourselves as spiritual sacrifices for the increase of grace in our own lives and in the lives of others. Christian men and fathers have a responsibility to become spiritually fruitful by the sacrifice of their own lives, offered for those in their care. In particular, fathers need to cooperate enthusiastically with the spiritual formation of their own children, aware that this service and example is an important way they provide for their families. This reality of sacrifice fostering a spiritual fruitfulness also illuminates the importance of those who are called to the single life or consecrated celibacy and, of course, to the particular vocation of the ministerial priesthood. This consecration to God is a true spousal union and a true fatherhood, in which the Church accepts the gift of her priests' lives to be fruitful in the life of grace for others. There is therefore a profound connection between the Sacrament of Holy Orders and the Sacrament of Matrimony, for they hold in common the call to spiritual fruitfulness.22 Christ,
the Bridegroom Yet the sacrificial and masculine embodiment of Christ's love does not apply only to the priest who represents Him in the sacrifice. It applies to all Christians, including Christian men, and especially Christian men who enter into the covenant of marriage. Saint Paul makes it clear in his exhortation to married men. "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the Church and gave Himself to her...". It should also be clear that the love of a husband for his wife is a response to her distinct value as a woman, as well as an acknowledgment of her equality. The husband's sacrifice for his wife is also a manifestation of his love and trust in the Father, just as it was for Christ. Christ's love for His bride is the expression of total commitment. He is faithful to His Bride to the very end. "Greater love has no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends." His death on the Cross is not an act of desperation, but the free gift of Himself. Marriage, too, involves a free gift of self. The commitment of Christian spouses to permanence not only encompasses their aspirations to love, serve and respect each other; it also requires understanding and forgiveness when there are failures. The difficulties of marriage, responded to in the grace given us by Christ, become a school of His fidelity and mercy to us sinners. Therefore, the presumption that a difficult marriage can be ended or annulled undermines the resolve of Christian spouses and parents, often ignoring the power of God's grace to strengthen families through difficult times. IV.
SAINT JOSEPH, OUR GUIDE Joseph
and Mary Unlike Adam, Joseph stood and proclaimed the truth; when God called Joseph, he was not afraid and did not hide. Joseph instead listened to God and answered the call.27 He heard God's instructions and placed absolute trust in Divine Providence. He was not afraid to take Mary as his wife and surrendered himself to God's plan. It is easy to take Joseph's actions for granted. He is often overshadowed by the glory of Christ and the purity of Mary. But he, too, waited for God to speak to him and then responded with obedience. Joseph
and Jesus As a good father, Saint Joseph taught his virtue to Jesus. A just man, obedient to the Law and humble before God, he taught Jesus these and other human virtues. Thus, when Christ matured, not only was His heavenly Father revealed, but also something of St. Joseph's own virtue. How profound our debt to this faithful husband and father. The life of the Holy Family was a life of work. We see in their labor the consecration of work to the plan of God for their family and all families. Saint Joseph was a carpenter, a man who worked to provide for his family. Joseph labored in service to his family, to society and to the mystery of God's plan that was taking shape in his family. Man's capacity to work is a gift of original innocence.29 In this work, he can extend God's dominion over creation through his own mediation. Work both builds up the worker and those who receive the fruits of his work. Work confirms and exercises the unique personal contribution of the worker for "work is a human good which transforms nature and makes man in a sense, more human."30 Man's redemption in Christ is also the redemption of work for "work too has been taken up in the mystery of the Incarnation, and has also been redeemed in a special way."31 An obsession with work will detract from family life. But it must not be presumed that the pursuit of a career or work itself is to blame. Work, at its best, is a positive contribution to both family and society. Within the Sacrament of Matrimony, even family chores and responsibilities can be transformed into redemptive acts as they are unified with Jesus Christ. Saint Joseph's authenticity was in the service to Jesus Christ - but through Him, Joseph's work was also a sacrifice for the redemption of the world. We can make any work holy by placing it at the service of redemption, by offering our work to God as an expression of love for Him and love of the human family. Our work is an expression of our own interior life. Work must not compete with one's family, but it can be a gift that is offered to God and those one loves. V.
SUMMARY AND SUGGESTIONS We have also turned to Holy Scripture and the teaching of the Church to discover wisdom and to seek direction which can lead us beyond our current situation. Mere nostalgia cannot do that. But a vigorous and creative reclaiming of our faith tradition and working at developing human virtues can provide a solid beginning. The examples of Jesus and St. Joseph, in contrast to Adam, are gifts that can offer both energy and direction. With this in mind, I offer my brothers in the local church the following suggestions which may help set our course. Trust in the Lord. Do not be afraid to trust in the Father's providence for your life and the life of your family. Strive to be a good son of the heavenly Father by cultivating a spirit of prayer and recollection. Learn about our Lord, not only in study of the scriptures and our faith, but also through the personal encounters that God gives us in prayer and the Sacraments. Cultivate those virtues that are important for your responsibilities as a disciple, as a spouse, as a father: humility, faith, fidelity to one's word, compassion. Do not shy away from sharing your faith with your family by word and example. Love the Church and stay close to her. Even the simple action of family prayer can have a powerful benefit. What a wonderful gift for your wife and children to see you kneeling prayerfully before God, our Father. As you live out the marriage covenant, trust that the Lord provides you with the judgment needed to be a good husband and to participate in the formation of your own children. Take the time to reflect upon the virtues and the moral and religious values that unite your family and need to be passed on to your children. Remember that the Scriptures charge you with a special responsibility for the religious upbringing of your children.32 Love your wife. This is a great gift not only for her, but also for the family. Actively care for her and be attentive to her needs, as she is to yours. Be sure to support her, affirm her and tell her that you love her. You may believe that your actions will make your love for her clear, but also remember that she needs to hear you say it. Make it clear to her that you are partners in marriage and in the responsibilities of raising the children. Be present to your family- that is, spend time with them and make the time you spend with them an expression of your love. Listen to them. Share with them. Make sure that family time involves worship, prayer and religious formation as well as recreation and the simplicity of just being together. You have something important to contribute the life of your family; be resourceful in leading them. Do not unfairly abandon the duty of the human and religious formation of your children to your wife. In each of these areas, men and women complement each other's efforts. As you form your children, set their sights upon the Kingdom of Christ and a life lived from a supernatural perspective. Guard the moral environment of your family, understanding that we live in a culture that is often hostile to our faith and unsympathetic to the moral teaching of Christ. The virtues of an adult Christian are not formed automatically. It requires effort and patience to pass these on to your children. Strive to practice the same virtue you want to form in them. Be especially attentive to them as they enter adolescence. The best friendship that a father can offer his children is to remain their father. Be loving but firm. Know that "no" can be a loving word too. Their teenage years can be difficult for you and for them. Sometimes parents are called to heroic patience as they struggle to challenge their children to be faithful and virtuous. Do not abandon your children to the spirit of the age, but prepare them to be living witnesses of Christ in the world. In particular, do not neglect their formation in virtue and in sanctity of sexuality and married love. Exercise care as your children grow in friendships with their peers and as they begin to seek relationships with the opposite sex.33 Join with other men and with other families in trying to change, to renew and to offer mutual support and encouragement. As our own families are a source of strength to us, we must also learn to depend upon other families and fathers of other families who share the vision of Christian fatherhood and family life. Single men, too, are called to holiness, to lives worthy of sons of God. The same basic spiritual principles obligate them as they live Christian lives. They have the special responsibility and opportunity to help create a social atmosphere which rejects the promiscuous lifestyle and encourages and supports chaste marriage and family life. Priests and those who have embraced chastity and celibacy by vow or in some other public way are identified with Jesus through this additional loving commitment. They will grow in love and find spiritual fruitfulness in sacrificing themselves in service to others as the Church directs them. In a profound sense, they share in the Fatherhood of God as He generates life in abundance. VI.
FINAL EXHORTATION AND PRAYER Please know of my daily prayers, remembrance at Mass and at other moments of prayer. I seek your prayers and support as I strive to be the shepherd of the Church in the Diocese of Peoria. Already the Holy See has recognized Mary as the Patroness of the Diocese of Peoria, under the title of the Immaculate Conception. Let us also never hesitate to turn to St. Joseph, seeking his paternal intercession with his Divine Son. With this devotion in mind, I commend the Diocese of Peoria and all its members in a particular way to the protection of Saint Joseph. A new statue of him has been placed in the Cathedral of Saint Mary near the statue of the Blessed Virgin Mary. I have provided that the liturgical celebration of Saint Joseph the Worker on May 1 be raised to the level of a feast on the diocesan liturgical calendar which is now in preparation. Saint Joseph, whose protection is so great, strong and prompt before the throne of God, we entrust to you our hopes and aspirations. Guardian of the Father's only Son, teach us the true meaning of fatherhood. Joseph, you are the saint of the carpenter shop, the one who used the ordinary events of daily life to become holy. You remind us that hard work is noble. Like most of us you never performed a miracle while on earth, never wrote a book and never even left one quotation. Joseph, you were the husband of Mary, the Mother of God. Help us, in loving Mary, to give honor and reverence to all women, particularly those who are near to us. Joseph, chaste and faithful, hardworking, simple and just, you remind us that a home is not built on possessions but goodness; not on riches, but on faith and mutual love. Dear father, Joseph, we do not grow weary contemplating you with Jesus asleep in your arms. Help us to share the dignity of fatherhood, generously to give life and not to grow tired of forming and protecting others in the ways of our heavenly Father. Saint Joseph, pray for us. Given
at my Chancery, to the glory of God the Father, this 19th day of
March, 1997, The Solemnity of Saint Joseph. NOTES: 2 Vatican Council II, Apostolicam Actuositatem,"A Decree on the Apostolate of the Laity," no. 11. 3 "The scale of marital breakdowns in the West since 1960 has no historical precedent that I know of, and seems unique. There has been nothing like it for the last 2,000 years, and probably longer." Lawrence Stone, Princeton University, quoted in "A World Without Fathers" David Popenoe, The Wilson Quarterly, Spring 1996, Vol, XX, No. 2, p. 13. 4"The family finds in the plan of God the Creator and Redeemer not only its identity, what it is, but also its mission, what it can and should do. The role that God calls the family to perform in history derives from what the family is; its role represents the dynamic and existential development of what it is. Each family finds within itself a summons that cannot be ignored, and that specifies both its dignity and its responsibility: family, become what you are." Pope John Paul II, Apostolic Exhortation, Familiaris Consortio, "On the Role of the Christian Family in the Modern World," no. 17. 5 "The contemporary family, like families in every age, is searching for fairest love. A love which is not fairest, but reduced only to the satisfaction of concupiscence (cf. 1 Jn: 16) or to a man's and a woman's mutual 'use' of each other, makes persons slaves to their weaknesses. Do not certain modern 'cultural agendas' lead to this enslavement? There are agendas which 'play' on man's weaknesses and thus make him increasingly weak and defenseless. The civilization of love evokes joy: joy, among other things, for the fact that a man has come into the world (cf. Jn. 12:21), and consequently because spouses have become parents. The civilization of love means 'rejoicing in the right' (cf. 1Cor. 13:6). But a civilization inspired by a consumerist, anti-birth mentality is not and cannot ever be a civilization of love. If the family is so important for the civilization of love, it is because of the particular closeness and intensity of the bonds which come to be between persons and generations within the family. However, the family remains vulnerable and can easily fall prey to dangers which weaken it or actually destroy its unity and stability. As a result of these dangers, families cease to be witnesses of the civilization of love and can even become a negation of it, a kind of counter sign. A broken family can, for its part, consolidate a specific form of anti-civilization, destroying love in its various expressions, with inevitable consequences for the whole of life in society." Pope John Paul II, "Letter to Families," no. 13. 6 "But not all of the consequences are taken into consideration, especially when the ones who end up paying are apart from the other spouse, the children, deprived of a father or mother and condemned to be in fact orphans of living parents." See "Letter to Families," Op. Cit., no. 14. 7 David Blankenhorn, Fatherless America, (New York: Basic Books, 1995), chapter 2. 8 "Therefore when we read in the biblical description the words addressed to the woman: 'Your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you' (Gen. 3:16), we discover a break and a constant threat precisely in regard to this 'unity of the two' which corresponds to the dignity of the image and likeness of God in both of them. But this threat is more serious for the woman, since domination takes the place of 'being a sincere gift' and therefore living 'for' the other: 'he shall rule over you.' This 'domination' indicates the disturbance and loss of the stability of that fundamental equality which the man and the woman possess in the 'unity of the two': and this is especially to the disadvantage of the woman whereas only the equality resulting from their dignity as persons can give to their mutual relationship the character of an authentic 'communio personarum.' While the violation of this equality, which is both a gift and a right deriving from God the Creator, involves an element to the disadvantage of the woman, at the same time it also diminishes the true dignity of the man." Pope John Paul II, Apostolic Exhortation, Mulieris Dignitatem, "On the Dignity and Vocation of Women on the Occasion of the Marian Year, no. 10. 9 Gen. 1:27. 10 "And all the time - such is the tragicomedy of our situation - we continue to clamor for those very qualities we are rendering impossible. You can hardly open a periodical without coming across the statement that what our civilization needs is more 'drive,' or dynamism, or self-sacrifice, or 'creativity.' In a sort of ghastly simplicity we remove the organ and demand the function. We make men without chests and expect of them virtue and enterprise. We laugh at honor and are shocked to find traitors in our midst. We castrate and bid the gelding be fruitful. C.S. Lewis, "Men without Chests," quoted from William Bennett, ed., A Book of Virtues, (New York: Simon and Schuster, 1993), pp. 263-265. 11 Mt. 14:27. 12 Ps. 139:14. 13 Heb. 10:31. 14 Gn. 1:28. 15 "Indeed, the Lord Jesus, when He prayed to the Father, 'that all may be one...as we are one' (John 17:21-22) opened up vistas closed to human reason, for He implied a certain likeness between the union of the divine Persons, and the unity of God's sons in truth and charity. This likeness reveals that man, who is the only creature on earth which God willed for itself, cannot fully find himself except through a sincere gift of himself." Vatican Council II, Gaudium et Spes, APastoral Constitution on the Church in the Modern World, no. 24. 16 A The first year, 1997, will thus be devoted to reflection on Christ, the Word of God, made man by the power of the Holy Spirit. The distinctly Christological character of the jubilee needs to be emphasized, for it will celebrate the Incarnation and coming into the world of the Son of God, the mystery of salvation for all mankind. The general theme proposed by many Cardinals and Bishops for this year is: Jesus Christ, the one Savior of the world, yesterday, today and for ever (cf. Heb 13:8). Pope John Paul II, Apostolic Letter, Tertio Millennio Adveniente, "As the Third Millennium Draws Near," no. 40. 17 "The key to intimacy with the Father, Son and Holy Spirit is to follow Christ in such a way that we not only imitate but even identify ourselves with him. Only thus is Jesus the firstborn among many brethren while still the only-begotten Son of the Father. We aren't the Father's children each on his own account; while still ourselves, we are his children because we are Christ." Fernando Ocariz, God as Father in the Message of Blessed Josemaria Escriva, (New Jersey: Scepter, 1994), p.18. 18 "...I have often said that the sole cause of man's unhappiness is that he does not know how to stay quietly in his room." Blaise Pascal, Penses, trans. A. J. Kailsheimer, (New York: Penguin, 1966), p. 67.
19 "I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me; and the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. Gal. 2:20. 20 Gen. 1:28. 21 "The loving providence of God determined that in the last days He would aid the world, set on its course of destruction. He decreed that all nations should be saved in Christ. A promise had been made to the holy patriarch Abraham in regard to these nations. He was to have a countless progeny, born not from his body but from the seed of faith. His descendants are therefore compared with the array of the stars. The father of all nations was to hope not in an earthly progeny but in a progeny from above." Saint Leo the Great, Sermo 3 in Epiphania Domini, 1-3. 5: PL 54, 240-241. 22 "Now those who propagate and order in the bodily life are marked by two things: namely, natural origin, and this refers to parents; and the political regime by which the peaceful life of man is conserved, and this refers to kings and princes. It is, then, also like this in the spiritual life - for some propagate and conserve the spiritual life in a spiritual ministry only, and this belongs to the sacrament of orders: and some belong to the bodily and spiritual life simultaneously, which takes place in the Sacrament of Matrimony when a man and a woman come together to beget offspring and to rear them in divine worship." St. Thomas Aquinas, Summa Contra Gentiles, 4, 58, trans. by Charles J. O'Neil,(Garden City, New York: Hanover House, 1957). 23 "Christ is the Bridegroom because 'he has given himself:' His body has been 'given,' His blood has been 'poured out' (cf. Luke 22:19-20). In this way 'He loved them to the end' (John 13:1). The 'sincere gift' contained in the Sacrifice of the Cross gives definitive prominence to the spousal meaning of God's love. As the Redeemer of the world, Christ is the Bridegroom of the Church. The Eucharist is the Sacrament of our Redemption. It is the Sacrament of the Bridegroom and of the Bride. The Eucharist makes present and realizes anew in a sacramental manner the redemptive act of Christ, who 'creates' the Church, His Body. Christ is united with this 'body' as the bridegroom with the bride. All this is contained in the Letter to the Ephesians. The perennial 'unity of the two' that exists between man and woman from the very 'beginning' is introduced into this 'great mystery' of Christ and of the Church. Since Christ, in instituting the Eucharist, linked it in such an explicit way to the priestly service of the Apostles, it is legitimate to conclude that He thereby wished to express the relationship between man and woman, between what is 'feminine' and what is 'masculine.' It is a relationship willed by God both in the mystery of creation and in the mystery of Redemption. It is the Eucharist above all that expresses the redemptive act of Christ the Bridegroom towards the Church the Bride. This is clear and unambiguous when the sacramental ministry of the Eucharist, in which the priest acts 'in persona Christi' is performed by a man. Mulieris Dignitatem, no. 26. 24 Eph. 5:25. 25 Jn. 15:13. 26 Is.38:19-20. 27 Mt. 1:20. 28Phil. 2:8. 29 "The sign of man's familiarity with God is that God places him in the garden. There he lives 'to till it and keep it.' Work is not yet a burden, but rather the collaboration of man and woman with God in perfecting the visible creation." Catechism of the Catholic Church, no. 378. 30 Pope John Paul II, Apostolic Exhortation, Redemptoris Custos, "On the Person and Mission of Saint Joseph in the Life of Christ and of the Church," no. 23. 31 Redemptoris Custos, no. 22. 32 Gen. 18:19; Ps. 78; Eph. 6:4. 33 Please refer to my pastoral letter regarding chastity education: "A Fresh, Spiritual Way of Thinking." 34 Jn. 3:16.
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